The Bugs and Daffy Show
by Steve Schmitstinstein
Summary: Bugs and Daffy get their very own talk show. The Warner Bros. and the Warner Sister are their first guest stars.


Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Animaniacs, and all related indica are the exclusive property and trademark of Warner Bros., Inc. I don't own the characters, this is just a story that I wrote about them.  
  
The Bugs and Daffy Show  
  
Scene: The Looney Tunes Forest with Bugs' burrow centered on the screen. (Camera zooms in slowly)  
  
[Bugs is in his bed sleeping. He gets a phone call, wakes up, and answers the phone. It's his boss.]  
  
Bugs: Hello?  
Boss: Bugs, we need you down here at the station, Warner Brothers wants to get you to sign this contract for a new talk show.  
Bugs: Sure, but I need a sidekick to make fun of and pull gags on.  
Boss: Not a problem. We've already got him all signed up. Of course, we didn't tell him that he was going to be your sidekick, because if we did he'd blow his top.  
Bugs: I'll be over in a sec, doc.  
  
Scene: At the television studio  
  
[Bugs walks over to his boss]  
  
Bugs: Eh, what's up doc?  
Boss: Oh, there you are! [hands Bugs the contract] Just sign here.  
  
[Bugs examines the contract, signs it, and Daffy walks in]  
  
Daffy: Bugs! What are you doing here? Have you heard about my new show?  
Bugs: Oh yeah, aren't you talking about the talk show?  
Daffy: Yeah, and I'm the star!  
Bugs: I think it's great, I'm gonna be in it now!  
Daffy: You mean you're gonna be on my show?  
Bugs: No! You are going to be on my show!  
Daffy: WHAT?!? No! NOO! Of all the abuse I have taken from you, this is the worst thing you have ever done to me! All I want is fame and fortune. Is THAT so much to ask? Please, don't let that furface steal my show!  
Boss: Oh, you'll still be a star!  
Daffy: Yeah, right. A CO-STAR!  
Boss: What's wrong with being a co-star?  
Daffy: Nothing, I just want all the attention to myself.  
Boss: I'm not going to argue anymore! Would you like to see the set?  
Bugs: Sure.  
  
Scene: Talk Show Set  
  
[Daffy, Bugs, and the boss walk in]  
  
Bugs: Say, this is nice!  
Daffy: [notices the setting] Hey, where's the other desk?  
Boss: What other desk?  
Daffy: Bugs' desk!  
Boss: That is Bugs' desk! [points to the desk on the set]  
Daffy: Then where's my desk?  
Boss: Oh, you'll be sitting in that chair [points to a little wooden chair in a dark corner]  
Daffy: Look Mac, I'm part of this show, right? Right. Well, why am I sitting in the dark corner where I won't be seen?  
Boss: We don't want anybody to see you!  
Daffy: Well then why did you sign me up for it?!?  
Boss: It's in the script. Plus, Bugs needed someone to make fun of and pull gags on.  
Daffy: I demand that I get my own desk!  
Boss: Ok, in that case, we can't give you your own coffee mug. It won't fit our budget.  
Daffy: I have one at home.  
Boss: So can you two start tomorrow?  
Bugs: Sure! Who are our first guests?  
Boss: The Warner brothers and the Warner sister.  
Bugs: You mean those three sweet kids?  
Daffy: No, he means those three annoying brats!  
Bugs: Well, I guess we should get going now. Would you like to come, Daffy?  
Daffy: I guess.  
[Bugs and Daffy start burrowing home]  
  
Scene: Bugs' burrow, the next day  
  
[Daffy stands outside with a bag full of stuff he is taking to the studio]  
  
Daffy: Bugsy, oh Bugsy neighbor... we're going to be late if you don't hurry up!  
Bugs: I'm comin', I'm comin'!   
[Bugs jumps out]  
Bugs: Eh, what's in the bag, duck?  
Daffy: Oh, just some essentials, pictures of myself for my dressing room, a coffee mug, a name plate, and a helmet.  
Bugs: A helmet?!  
Daffy: You know, for protection!  
Bugs: Oh come on!  
[They start burrowing towards the television studio]  
  
Scene: Talk Show Set  
[Bugs and Daffy arrive]  
Boss: There you two are! Daffy, your desk is over there.  
[Daffy runs over, opens his bags, takes out the coffee mug (shaped like his face), name plate and a picture of himself and places them on the desk]  
Boss: Now I'll show you to your dressing rooms.  
[Bugs and Daffy follow him down a hallway]  
Boss: Here's your dressing room, Bugs. [points to a door with a large star mounted on it that reads: Bugs Bunny]  
Bugs: Say, that's pretty good, doc. [goes inside]  
Daffy: Uh, excuse me. Where exactly is my dressing room?  
Boss: Oh, you don't have one.  
Daffy: WHAT?!?  
Boss: But you're welcome to use that room over there.  
[Daffy walks over to a door that is labeled: Janitor]  
Daffy: You don't mean this room, do you?  
Boss: Sure do! Go on inside and unpack, we'll come with a new label for the door shortly.  
[Daffy mumbles under his breath and goes into the dressing room. After some time, he hears someone outside the door. He opens the door and finds a studio employee taping a name tag onto his door.]  
Daffy: Just what are you doing?  
Studio Employee: Tapin' this here name tag.  
Daffy: But this here name tag is made of paper!  
Studio Employee: Yep.  
[Daffy slams the door]  
  
Scene: Talk Show Set  
  
[The show is about to begin. Bugs and Daffy are sitting at their desks.]  
Camera Man: And 3... 2... 1... [lights dim]  
Mysterious Announcer: It's t-t-time for a d-d-differ-a differ-a a new type of talk show! And here's the s-s-star of our show, B-B-Bugs B-B-Bunny!  
[Lights slowly brighten]  
Bugs: Thank you, say Porky, I didn't know you signed up for this show too!  
Porky: How did you kn-kn-kno-a figure it out that it was me?  
Bugs: Just a hunch, I guess...  
Daffy: Yeah, yeah, come on butterball, you forgot my introduction!  
Porky: [in a dull voice]...also starring D-D-Daffy...  
[sound of crickets in audience]  
Daffy: [sarcastically] Thank you, oh stop, you are too kind.  
Bugs: Well folks, tonight we have a treat for you. Those three sweet kids who have invaded your TV sets so many times...  
Daffy: Yeah, too many times... [puts his helmet on]  
Bugs: ...from the hit TV show Animaniacs, here they are, Yakko, Wakko, and Dot Warner!  
Daffy: Mother.  
[Yakko, Wakko, and Dot walk on the set and jump on the couch]  
Bugs: Hi there!  
[Yakko, Wakko, and Dot sing]  
Yakko: Hellooooooooooooooooooooo  
Wakko: Helloooooooooooooooo  
Dot: Hellooooooooooo  
Warner Kids: Hello!  
Dot: Why is the ducky wearing that thing on his head?  
Bugs: Oh, Daffy is scared of you kids.  
Wakko: You mean you're scared of us?  
[the Warner kids give Daffy innocent looks and start getting teary eyed]  
Bugs: Come on Daffy, they won't hurt you!  
Daffy: Oh, alright. [takes helmet off]  
Bugs: See?  
[Wakko pulls out a mallet from behind his back and smashes Daffy on the head]  
Bugs: So what have you three been up to?  
Yakko: Have you heard about our new cartoon?  
Bugs: Yeah, isn't that the show with the really long name? What is it again, Porky?  
Porky: It's the Cat and Birdy W-W-W-Warneroonie P-P-Pinky B-B-Brainy Big C-C-C-Cart-Cartoon-a-Cartoon Oh forget it!  
Yakko: Did anybody understand what he just said? Anyway, we have a new show with Sylvester, Tweety, Pinky and the Brain.  
[Daffy gets back up into his chair and puts the helmet back on]  
Bugs: Oh, Sly's on the show?  
Dot: Yeah. And Tweety is too. He's cute like me!  
Bugs: I heard you have some special talents. Could we see some?  
[Wakko gets up, pulls a bottle of cola out from behind his back, drinks, and starts burping the symphony of 1812]  
Wakko: Excuse me!  
Daffy: That was disgusting!  
Yakko: Dot and I can do a mime act.  
Bugs: Great! Could you do one of your acts for us?  
[Dot and Yakko get up and pretend they're in a box, then Yakko starts climbing a rope, he stops and Dot walks over and shapes her fingers to look like scissors, Yakko holds the rope out for her to cut, she snips it, and a piano falls on Daffy.]  
Daffy: [comes out of the Piano rubble with piano teeth] You're despicable!  
  
The End 


End file.
